https://youtu.be/dtBoIQPheeA

This go around I tried to compose a textual narrative with a far more concise version of my reflections. I wanted to use less words to convey my thoughts.

For the multimoidal version, I utilized Windows Movie Maker, in an effort to try a new format (last time I used Prezi). There were some technical aspects I was not able to control:
1) The narration is recorded over the soundtrack as there was no way to intersperse narration. It had to be recorded during the entirety of the movie, even when there are silent parts unfortunately.
2) The text overlay atop some of the photos was not easy to read in some slides but there were not many options for this feature.

The challenge remains discovering the path to utilizing media technology to effectively convey the meaning of a textual creation.


When the object is you – Tights
Shona Mari Sapphire
2/25/14

It is difficult for me to contemplate the meaning of objects in my life. I think I have spent a great deal of time rejecting the idea that objects hold significance in my understanding of my Self. A part of this reluctance stems from the term “object” and my experience feeling like one. Enculturation into the world of dance involves an unspoken acceptance of an identity as object. The objectification of the chosen dancer’s body is integral composing performing art, just as the selected texture of a brush becomes the object in manifesting the painter’s artistic idea. The dancer’s human form and presence is the object of creation, often within the paradigm of someone else’s artistic invention.
The enmeshing of human being and object which characterizes the culture of dance as profession, underscores my realizations about the function of certain objects in my life. Thinking about how objects interact with and about my body and trying to uncover an object of historical value led me to: Tights. Tights I wore from age six to twenty six were black, pink, flesh tone, various hues designed for the costuming of a bird, sea creature or doll. Opaque, fishnet, seemed, seamless or nylon. Footed, footless, stirrup or toeless.
A pair of black, footless, seamless, opaque tights signified the navigational turn back toward my Self, from within the intractable abyss of bulimia. The ritual of putting on tights before going to class was violently interrupted by a pain crisis in my lower back. A severe spasm in my right, quadratus lumborum (lower back muscle), erupted in pain molecules exploding throughout my body, cutting me off at the knees, and rendering me prone and paralyzed on the floor. Unable to walk, let alone dance, for weeks, the emotional, psychological and physiological reality of my eating disorder presented itself passionately; sparked by the forward bending, hip flexing motion of lifting and placing my foot into a pair of black, footless, seamless, opaque tights.
Throughout the most crucial developmental stages of my early childhood, adolescence and adulthood, the culture of dance iterated the idea that tights were me and I was tights. Tights were part and parcel in the system of bodily conformity, continuous molding into the mandatory shape exerted by the authority of dance. Tights represented the materials of obedience, aesthetic in the exterior sense, training to win the medal of other’s expectations, and the performance of someone else’s ideas and life’s work. My body comported in dancer’s tights was not supported, secured or protected. The material of dancer’s tights was revealing and scrutinizing. This object which became a part of me, when my body interacted with it, made the adjudication of my value possible. The unforgiving judgment of others entered through the design, color, texture, seaming and fit of my tights.
Until now, I hadn’t considered the role of an object, such as tights, in my evolution from one level of Self awareness to another; from the hyper –sensitive, self-validating professional dancer’s somatic cognizance to the retired-dancer’s functional and alive understanding. During the transitional period leading to retirement from dance, tights’ role as an object of meaning meandered considerably; from full-time paid dancer, to non-paid dancer, to non-dancing dancer earning a living doing something that has no meaning to her, to non-dancing retired dancer in a career that opened the possibility for fulfillment again. During the early stages of this process, putting on a pair of dancer’s tights meant stepping foot into that intractable abyss, long after bulimia had been silenced into the submission of solid recovery. The frequency of my tights wearing correlated directly with my gradual, emotional, psychological and physiological departure from dance. I lifted and placed my feet into a pair of tights fewer and fewer times and this ritual morphed in meaning.
When a new career finally became visible within my changing understanding of identity and life-course, I turned to tights again. This time, the material, fit, and purpose were entirely different. Tights were now made of fabric that supports the productive repetition of bodily work and recovery. A feeling of stark nudity was replaced by a comfort and function based on my own needs rather than the standards of others. The tights I step into now are those of a different pattern, texture, compression and fit, yet this object still relates with the carriage of my body and therefore Self, both personally and professionally. These tights of spandex, supplex and nylon are the materials of physical reformation and investment in the work of my own body and those who study with me. Rather than adjudicating value, my appraisal of bodies in motion is motivated by a desire to learn the rich story each has to tell about the possibilities for being.